Mrs. Marble and Dr. McCool

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Don’t begin it with the weather
and rain.

Maybe discover
a murder; it’s insane,

but try the silver bullet
express lane.

Have Mrs. Marble
and Dr. McCool
take you for a ride
as they cruise

and help you uncover
a clue;
a serious
fool
might find you a tool,
or a shoe;
but McCool and Marble
are no fools.
Now if this sounds
a little like nonsense

don’t blame me a bit,
I’m just manx

of tales, a poet of sense
and egress.

A man about town
with a top hat

was seen with the barkeep
last night;

no one knows if he did it
or not,

but his nose is as long
as a bat and a knot;

like a wart it sits on a point
on his snout, dangling
down.
So if you see
him walking backwards,

remember that he sees
forward behind;

his eyes in the back of his head,
supine

are pajamas with peacocks
and trepan;
he’ll bore you until you giggle
and laugh and turn
and let your freckles
fall in your lap.

Now hold your nose to three,
let out a big breath and pee;
if you feel like your blue
in the face,

go on and toe touch
your pew-pew
and get to the zoo
and the booth;
and open it till you find stew
in a bush and holler
it smarts
cause its hot,
but cheer for the sparks.

The children are all excited
and churning,

they found a man laughing
and squirming,

his head swimming
in a glass aquarium.

The fish were all fuming
around him,

and he was grinning
at them like a demon
till his eyes were cross-eyed
and frozen,

and he fell out
and busted his moo-moo
and tush.

Then they discovered his tu-tu
under this bush,

and had to dipsy do da dippy de all day,
until a screw
from the silver express escaped,

fell out of his head
into the fish tank
and sank.
Now Marble and McCool
looked cool to cruise

as they arrived
to get their man
and his tu-tu’s;

this man and his tush
was sitting on his moo-moo
under the bush in the starlight
and blue moon;

he took leave of his song
and laughed like a frog.
The man and his eyes,
the pies in his face
and tu-tu;
a screw loose
in his brainpan
still tooling and swimming.

So if you ever find yourself writing
a poem about weather,

remember don’t begin it with rain
in Spain or be blamed;

instead call Mrs. Marble
and Dr. McCool,
fool; or be slammed,
else wander the world
in a canoe
like I do listening
to moo-moo
and tu-tu’s and fools
with loose screws
in their brainpans;

or see what McCool
and Marble
can do for you foolish tool
of a pan man;

for they are the team
that cracked
the tu-tu man in his Sampan.

 – Steven Craig Hickman ©2014 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author is strictly prohibited. 

Note to Self: Don’t blame me for your tush! I’m just the mad hatter let loose in your gizzard. So if you think you’ll sleep tonight go get another sucker. I’m here to tell you different. So tell that old self bye bye till the madness ends. Goodnight!

7 thoughts on “Mrs. Marble and Dr. McCool

  1. Somewhere between Edward Lear and TS Eliot and as good and as clever as both.
    Here, SC, you’re slightly off the wall, no, a good deal off the wall, urbane and witty and highly charming and entertaining. LOVE it!

    Like

  2. There were a LOT of stories in that story … lots of different turns and twists. Your imagination astounds me! This was GREAT! And, yes John Flanagan – SC is absolutely off the wall – so far off that he’s floating near the ceiling, which only serves to make him that much more marvelous!

    Liked by 1 person

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